Untitled

A lady trying to stop picking at her skin. Also tumbling when she should be studying.

bleh

grad school sucks when you literally hate yourself so much that any sort of feedback that isn’t praise comes across as “YOU SUCK!  HAHA, AND GOOD THING YOU PUT ALL YOUR SELF-WORTH IN YOUR GRADES, BECAUSE NOW THEY’RE GOING TO SUCK! SO YOU ARE LITERALLY WORTHLESS!”

Like when I was little up until a few years ago I was chubby along with being pimply and hairy, so I crossed being pretty off the list of good points I could have, and I wasn’t athletic, or outgoing, so school was all I had.  Now in grad school my grades aren’t as great as they used to be, so all I can think is that I’m really crap and not worth anything.

Recovery road

Is hella long. I’ve really regressed since my old therapist retired but I want to take this time between semesters (week long break) to get back on track.

Plan of action:
Gloves while in house
Positive thoughts (drown out family’s nagging)
Tumblr it out


Good luck to everyone in the same boat

deadlydinos:

"Haha that Tumblr post said grades don’t define me so I’m gonna abandon my fantastic school marks and drop out" said literally no one ever

"Wow it’s nice to be reminded that even though school is hard for me, that doesn’t mean I’m worthless" said hundreds of thousands of bloggers with learning disabilities and mental and physical illnesses

I’m in grad school and school makes me sick to my stomach.  Every day I have to remind myself that I’m not worthless if I make a mistake in class or at practicum.

enough

if the shooting had happened in the Middle East, everyone would be on that shit. How many people would be posturing about the lack of women’s rights? How many people would be (wrongly) blaming Islam and its followers?

The West fails to see that it has wrapped itself so tightly in a culture of virulent hate towards women in the exact ways it demonizes the East for. These crimes are not the fault of women, or of God, but of men twisted with hate.

if i had a got motto it would be: ours is the nap

bletch

it amazes me how cis straight white guys act in public. my sister’s bf came to my apt, demanded she get him a beer, and slapped her ass….in front of me. He also made himself comfortable without any tarof (essential in ethnic families), and in short, made me want to be a nun.

trying very hard not to relapse into picking behaviors after a dramatic reduction following exams!  good thoughts please

No

My white friend called me “practically white” no no no no no